bvbarmy4ever

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bvbarmy4ever

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 653
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bvbarmy4ever : The gates of heaven were locked shut, the pits of hell they were all filled up, and I fear I don't belong here

bvbarmy4ever's page activity

Visits<b>saymynamess</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:31pm<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:09pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:18pm<b>blackhorizons</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:44pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 4:49pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:15am<b>stclair01</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 10:43am<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:55am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 2:48am<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:35am<b>strangenesslover</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:21pm<b>carelessxdanger</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 3:53am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 7:09pm<b>person5546</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 12:58am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:02pm<b>lexxiasaurus</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 9:17pm<b>Thomas6792</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:46am

bvbarmy4ever's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bvbarmy4ever's favorite FMLs

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

by kendrox / 05/02/2014 at 3:11am / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

by JudasThePriest / 12/01/2013 at 2:42am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

by imawesomeokay / 07/20/2013 at 1:53am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Transportation

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML

by just trying to be nice / 06/20/2013 at 10:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

by asdffhhjk / 05/15/2013 at 4:08am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous