burninnapalm

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burninnapalm

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 534
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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burninnapalm's page activity

Visits<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:47am<b>beth817</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:55am<b>captainwhiskers</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:10pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:46pm<b>dotdotdotslash</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>xxreikoxx</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 12:05am<b>Hallfenn</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 4:01am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 5:52am<b>TeenieAmerica</b> - the 10/12/2011 at 7:55pm<b>MrHomerSimpson</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 4:31am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 5:59am

burninnapalm's FML badges

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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burninnapalm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

by Nicki / 12/21/2011 at 7:30am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML

by Username / 06/16/2011 at 9:20am / United States / Love

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

by blaahh / 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love