Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML
Wednesday 28 January 2015