About buonotomato : Uh... Hi. I'm here because the little sadistic part of me enjoys laughing at other people's misfortunes.
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buonotomato's favorite FMLs
by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML
by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML
by WiltedFlower / 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…