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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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bullet345

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bullet345
  • Town/Country : Saint Paul, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 707
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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bullet345's favorite FMLs

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (14545) - you deserved it (1663)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

#8979705 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (1226)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

#8884162 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (15612) - you deserved it (6903)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Bruised (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (1108)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (17728) - you deserved it (4338)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

#8638968 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (1545)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2668)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (5378)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

#7782568 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (6692)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by kaitlynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

#7649526 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (1701)

On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (1725)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (2702)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (11551)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (17583) - you deserved it (4066)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)