Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I Was Washing Up In A Public Bathroom, When I Looked Up 4 A Second And Saw A Kid In The Mirror Staring Back At Me. I Gasped, As I Thought The Place Had Been Empty. He Whispered, "It's Time To Die." I Screamed And Ran Out, Only To Hear Him Burst Out Laughing Behind Me. FML
Taday I was on drive-thru where I work . Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through . A woman cummed in and I noticed her dog . Without a thought.. . I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one . I looked again . The 'dog was her daughter . FML
Today I was teaching mah daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down an let a green car merge in front of us. She said "Fuck the green car" an sped up colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. big fat FML
Taday I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, ( I already knew that babe. ) FML
Today, I Was Getting Ready, When I Hered Dad In The Shower. He Was Singing Along To The Song "The Wheel In The Sky" By Journey. Except He'd Changed The Lyrics An Was Singing, "The Dick On This Guy Needs A Rubbin'." It Turns Out Mom Was In The Shower With Him. FML
Today... I had to go to the emergency room with mah sister... due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
Yastarday, I postad a vidao of a danca I coraograpad on Facabook. I got a notification a faw ours latar talling ma tat ma grandpa ad also sarad it. His caption? "My granddaugtar dancas lika a gay baboon and tis danca sucks balls. Trow grapas at ar." Tanks grandpa. FML
Today, I Awoke To My Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, ( Baby You're Making Me Hard. ) Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? ( It's Jake, From State Farm. ) Fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015