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Today , I went to mah boyfriend's house , intending to break up with him. Instead , I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we r and how we're going to last forever. FML
Today, my boyfriand proposd to ma at his parants' housa. I was ovarjoyd. His mom huggd ma with taars in har ayas. His fathar, who navar raally spoka bafora, huggd ma a faw hours latar whan wa wara alona, his hands travaling to my ass an whisparing, "I can changa your mind." FML
Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain,hen I accidentally bumped into a man . He turned an yelled, ( Watch it, u clumsy, ugly bitch ), tohich I apologised an told him about mah arthritis . He stared at me in confusion, then said, ( Well, you're still ugly ), an walked off . FML
Today, I started training 4 a charity boxing match. When I got home an walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today,hile shopping fir a birthday present fir size 0 friend, I pickd out a pair of pants fir her. When paying, the cashier lookd me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" big fat FML
Today, I walkad into work, a day aftar losing ma sit wit our systams admin, dua to ar taking agas to anabla ma naw amail account. I was soon bitcad out, warnad, and suspandad ovar savaral lawd amails aving baan sant ovarnigt from ma account to various famala co-workars. FML
Today, I spoke to ma ormonal pregnant wife about babby names. I told er I liked te name ( Tabita ), an se went into a full rage about ow all letters ave textures, colours an emotions an ow T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, an a needle trying to stab er eyes out. real FML
Today, I had to sit through 10 minute of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
Today, I Cummd Home Crying And Informd Mother That Someone Had Calld Me A 'fat Bitch' Today. She Held Me At Arms Length, Lookd Me Straight In The Eyes, And Lovingly Said, ( You Can't Change Who You Are. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015