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btate21

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  • Number of visits : 121
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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btate21's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25301) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (54883)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44356) - you deserved it (3212)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (4200)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44303) - you deserved it (8754)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13297) - you deserved it (47422)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (3278)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

#14925146
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (4246)

On 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54499) - you deserved it (7764)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (3996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML

#14731547
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (5041)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Username - Romania (Ilfov)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20623) - you deserved it (11315)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73789) - you deserved it (5888)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75927) - you deserved it (6567)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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