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Mobility
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Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (6383)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4875) - you deserved it (35265)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (2697)
On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28676) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (1897)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27409) - you deserved it (8373)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16168) - you deserved it (8363)
On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17580) - you deserved it (1672)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (883)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by Sharee K. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46856) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (4483)
On 05/26/2011 at 2:00am - work - by Fred (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (6427)
On 05/21/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (5587)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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