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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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bssnbby6's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by SinkyBalls / 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Sharee K. / 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML
by Fred / 05/26/2011 at 2:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…