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bseo's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
by fuckyoutoo / 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML
by Tooloud / 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
by Gixie / 03/24/2013 at 11:56am / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Kids
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals
by WTFLY / 03/23/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by nraecher / 03/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 6:49am / United States / Money
Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job. I waited an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, and she told me I had to be let go because I'm not "reliable enough." The only time I missed work was when I had the stomach flu. I was fired before I could even quit. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 2:13am / United States / Work
Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML
by kaikaicaligirl / 03/21/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by seamonkeys / 03/21/2013 at 5:42am / United States / Kids
by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…