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Today , my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking looool a chip from him!! I made popcorn that night , and when he tried to take some , I said , "I'm sorry , I don't share food" to get him back!! His response? "I can tell." FML
Today , My Roommates Decidd To Old An Intervention. Tey Told Me I Would Ave To Break Up Wit My Boyfriend Because Tey Don't Want People Aving Sex In Our Apartment During College Exams. My Boyfriend Agred. FML
Today..!! I gave my son a fork..!! so I could try teaching him how to eat with one!! So far..!! he's been doing all the teaching!! He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork..!! I'll get shankd!! real FML
Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML
TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me fir wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job!! I waitd an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, an she told me I had to be let go because I'm not ( reliable enough!! ) The only time I missd work washen I had the stomach flu!! I was fird before I could even quit!! FML
Yesterday, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook . I asked him about it, an he reassured me the pictures were from months ago . Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck . The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get . FML
Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes. We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Friday 27 March 2015