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bseo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health
Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML
by Megan / 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm / United States / Love
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love
by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML
by ShouldBeSingleSoon / 03/26/2013 at 12:15am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Work
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
by franky / 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love
by f-ugly / 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm / United States / Love
Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML
by grossed out / 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous
by Faaccckkk / 03/25/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Love
Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML
by sorryyouweregone / 03/25/2013 at 9:13am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…