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bseo's favorite FMLs
by notarobber / 05/15/2013 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ktorih137 / 05/14/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation
by CrappyCar / 05/14/2013 at 1:29am / United States / Transportation
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
by magomag / 05/14/2013 at 12:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
by lachaisse / 05/12/2013 at 8:09am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML
by Wealthyparrot / 05/10/2013 at 4:24am / United States / Work
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
by iLikeMyLegs / 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
by trice / 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
by kprince / 05/08/2013 at 10:00am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
by a tad whipped / 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm / Australia / Money
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
by gibbette / 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or… Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24.… Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's…