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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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brydeec

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brydeec
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 43437
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56721) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (30273) - you deserved it (7057)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

#5306318 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (8107) - you deserved it (34218)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (224111)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635 (486)

I agree, your life sucks (58563) - you deserved it (3232)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (35072)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML

#2626905 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (14197)

On 06/05/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (7625)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (54103)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

#2593588 (329)

I agree, your life sucks (54268) - you deserved it (2429)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

#2593362 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (6508) - you deserved it (66381)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML

#2556811 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (9671) - you deserved it (37033)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by keifer13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55731) - you deserved it (136023)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

#2531202 (627)

I agree, your life sucks (96444) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.