About bryan21122112 : Don't be ignorant and I won't have a reason to dislike you.
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bryan21122112's favorite FMLs
Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML
by golfstar11 / 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by satega / 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm / United States (Missouri) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love
by slenderman908 / 12/10/2012 at 6:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by LLCK / 12/10/2012 at 5:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
by Aaron / 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
by Bug5992 / 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
by woodless / 12/09/2012 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML
by ko / 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
by XxtentaculonxX / 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…