About bryan21122112 : Don't be ignorant and I won't have a reason to dislike you.
Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (9697)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (1017)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (24793)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (1026)
On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15962) - you deserved it (1179)
On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19078) - you deserved it (4157)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14721) - you deserved it (2690)
On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (5802)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (1223)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16911) - you deserved it (1122)
On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6303) - you deserved it (18267)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3503) - you deserved it (37926)
On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (2568)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (2991)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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