bryan21122112

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Offline (the 02/18/2015 at 6:43am)

bryan21122112

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1534
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bryan21122112 : Don't be ignorant and I won't have a reason to dislike you.

bryan21122112's page activity

Visits<b>Dcaxcs</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:52pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 8:14am<b>_oGSwank</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm<b>Beeftinkle</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:52am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 11:38pm<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 10:52pm

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50 favourites

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bryan21122112's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

by ghost? / 12/16/2012 at 3:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

by Steve / 12/16/2012 at 1:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Transportation

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

by elphi / 12/15/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Illinois) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

by mandybar15 / 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

by theslutmuncher / 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm / Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Work

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

by ToughTitties / 12/14/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.