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bryan21122112

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bryan21122112
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 513
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bryan21122112 : Don't be ignorant and I won't have a reason to dislike you.

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bryan21122112's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

#20001108
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8589) - you deserved it (25467)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18137) - you deserved it (2547)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (36442)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

#19987585
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15690) - you deserved it (1690)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (1916)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (1567)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (2626)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (2189)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29654) - you deserved it (2710)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)



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