bryan21122112

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Offline (the 02/18/2015 at 6:43am)

bryan21122112

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1505
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bryan21122112 : Don't be ignorant and I won't have a reason to dislike you.

bryan21122112's page activity

Visits<b>Dcaxcs</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:52pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 8:14am<b>_oGSwank</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm<b>Beeftinkle</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:52am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 11:38pm<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 10:52pm

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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bryan21122112's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

by Shuttie / 01/18/2013 at 7:55am / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

by veggieluver / 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

by anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

by ItRainedOutside / 01/06/2013 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy