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brwneyedgurl99

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brwneyedgurl99
  • Town/Country : none of ur business
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 78
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brwneyedgurl99's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (4040)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54816) - you deserved it (3255)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9956) - you deserved it (31427)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (3352) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (3089)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (11609)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (8942)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31187) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (5407)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (11962)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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