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Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you totally deserved it (9267) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you totally deserved it (88141)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
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