[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

brown_eyed_girl

Search for a member

brown_eyed_girl
  • Town/Country : Beverly Hills, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 June 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2746
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

brown_eyed_girl's last visitors

HumanspiderFreezeBlurggle

brown_eyed_girl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brown_eyed_girl's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81756) - you deserved it (24059)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (39264) - you deserved it (5247)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68944) - you deserved it (32612)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (51931) - you deserved it (6342)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (57986) - you deserved it (11872)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (76524) - you deserved it (5388)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (63853) - you deserved it (4346)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347 (416)

I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (92120)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (114334)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (9572) - you deserved it (51601)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)