About broomhildo : name is 'hildo.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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broomhildo's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by HeatoN / 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm / Germany (Berlin) / Intimacy
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
- Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I… Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well,… Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his…