About broomhildo : name is 'hildo.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (2413)
On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62963) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (39260)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (8597)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (2413)
On 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm - health - by ilovedirt - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (1937)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (11381)
On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46621) - you deserved it (3176)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40640) - you deserved it (7574)
On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32262) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (3710)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (49780)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (9962)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (123057)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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