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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervou about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, ( Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread yur legs! ) FML
Today, Whan I Trid On A Pair Of Pants At Tha Mall, I Askd Tha Salasparson If I Could Hava Tha Naxt Siza Up. Sha Informd Ma That Thara Wasn't A Naxt Siza Up. I Hava To LOSE Waight To Fit Into Tha Biggast Pair Of Pants Tha Stora Makas. FML
TODAY, AFTER A LATE NIGHT AT A BAR, I STEPPED INTO MAH BUILDING'S ELEVATOR WITH A CHINESE MANHO WAS CARRYING A PLASTIC BAG. WITHOUT THINKING, I SAID, "OOOH, R U STILL DELIVERING?" HIS RESPONSE WAS, "I LIVE HERE." FML
Today , I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother looool walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later , I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
today I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 mah ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she cummed over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML
Friday 27 March 2015