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brookiebaby1212

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brookiebaby1212

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Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (254744) - you deserved it (59878)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (12480)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

#29334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15791) - you deserved it (33187)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73161) - you deserved it (3847)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73161) - you deserved it (3847)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6924) - you deserved it (48141)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (9827)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15547) - you deserved it (67876)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (36601)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (2305)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version



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