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brook4141

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brook4141

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  • Number of visits : 47
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brook4141's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52490) - you deserved it (11873)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (34463)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (6284)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55492) - you deserved it (9867)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (7604)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML



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