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brokenhelix

Offline (the 08/07/2014 at 7:19pm) | Search for a member

brokenhelix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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brokenhelix's page activity

Visits<b>sanghera43</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 3:42pm<b>mabel123</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 9:58pm<b>Dardan</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 4:27am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/08/2010 at 1:44pm

brokenhelix's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of brokenhelix's badges

brokenhelix's favorite FMLs

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (3765)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (6057)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47008) - you deserved it (4448)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (46286)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69704) - you deserved it (6564)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48641) - you deserved it (3973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34255) - you deserved it (9468)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54679) - you deserved it (2655)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (17369)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (8620)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10002) - you deserved it (32994)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (14830)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (5225)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

#12621372
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57028) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/19/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by divorced - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33420) - you deserved it (9943)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version



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