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brokenhelix's FML badges
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brokenhelix's favorite FMLs
Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Health
by Bailey / 04/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
by sissydlk / 12/02/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by ananomus / 08/22/2010 at 12:26am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by divorced / 08/19/2010 at 6:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…