This member hasn't filled in their description.
brokenhelix's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
brokenhelix's favorite FMLs
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals
by ThisGuy97 / 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek
by Unknown / 07/07/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Missouri) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by greenhide8 / 05/28/2011 at 1:27am / United States (North Dakota) / Money
by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous
- Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was… Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super… Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then…