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brokenhelix

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brokenhelix
  • Town/Country : Allen, TX, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1982 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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brokenhelix's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of brokenhelix's badges

brokenhelix's favorite FMLs

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (7302)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (2262)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10706) - you deserved it (26015)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (9233)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (14933)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46694) - you deserved it (7666)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37134) - you deserved it (2628)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (6173)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (24287)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59480) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9596) - you deserved it (75390)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16317) - you deserved it (40299)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -



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