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brokenhelix

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brokenhelix
  • Town/Country : Allen, TX, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1982 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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brokenhelix's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of brokenhelix's badges

brokenhelix's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (4450)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22314) - you deserved it (4632)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18553) - you deserved it (1833)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

#18972343
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15160) - you deserved it (6433)

On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27422) - you deserved it (7423)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (2665)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML

#18043199
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9105) - you deserved it (28068)

On 10/22/2011 at 12:55am - work - by bob - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (4012)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States



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