Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About broken_symlink : I am in college, training to be a Mathamagician. A magician that is good at math and physics. I am crazy interested in algebraic topology, differential topology, and riemannian geometry and hope to some day get a phd in math.
I yoyo and have been to the state yoyo competition.
I have been playing drums since high school and have been in the jazz band every semester of college so far. My favorites are John Coltrane, Horace Silver, Soulive, Parliament/Funkadelic, Dave Brubeck, Lettuce, Snarky Puppy, Lotus, edit, Bonobo, The RH Factor, and Pretty Lights.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Friday 18 April 2014