brodizzle

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brodizzle

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 95083
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brodizzle's page activity

Visits<b>Jpav1</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 5:46pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 11:56am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:33pm<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:15am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 12:19am<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:58am<b>Participation</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:51pm<b>swash984</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:09pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:19am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:40am<b>TheMessyOwl</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:46pm<b>kd123456</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:33pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:30pm<b>pugface101</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:47pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:20am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:02am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:34am<b>Guard_Babe</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:28am

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 6:19am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:02am

brodizzle's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brodizzle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

by Betsydoll / 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy

Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML

by wheels / 02/25/2009 at 10:09am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

by maxthndr / 02/10/2009 at 12:36am / United States / Work