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britts95

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 2:00am) | Search for a member

britts95

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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britts95's page activity

Visits<b>Portuguese94</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 9:07pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:31am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:58pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:12pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:50pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:28pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:21am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:09am<b>dk1991</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:10am<b>liloso60</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:38am<b>lexiale</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:56am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:03am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:30pm<b>grapegamer</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:38am<b>Zepherros</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:59am<b>mattc99</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:37pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:51pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:42am

Liked!<b>seeoseek</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:25am

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britts95's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45674) - you deserved it (8378)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99744) - you deserved it (11645)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55067) - you deserved it (7754)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58885) - you deserved it (10855)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51106) - you deserved it (11889)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69421) - you deserved it (4244)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (2864)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (26451)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

#18343732
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Dave B - Reserved

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19409) - you deserved it (5052)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

#5996462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (4410)

On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML

#5193582
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48270) - you deserved it (4519)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by Thistle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68279) - you deserved it (9173)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

#555231
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68263) - you deserved it (7169)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)



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