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Offline (the 03/09/2015 at 3:49am) | Search for a member
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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I moved to a big city , alone , from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't tat scary , I ailed first cab. Te driver spent te 30 minute ride from te airport telling me about ow ( sometimes , u just gotta soot a guy ) cuz if tey steal yur soes , tey deserve it. FML
Today, I eard ma sister gagging in er room. Se was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after earing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, ten eard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see er on er knees and er boyfriend wit is underwear around is ankles. mega FML
Today, My Psychotic Step-dad Asked Me If I'm Doing Drugs. I Replied With A Massive Amount Of Sarcasm: "Yeah, All Of 'em. Especially Meth." He Flipped Out, Searched My Room Top To Bottom, Then Grounded Me "for Good" Until I Tell Himhere I Hid The Supposed Drugs. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", an he replid with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughd. FML
Taday mah girlfriend's dad returnd home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flusterd an askd, "So um, did u make it back?" He lookd me dead in the eyes an said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I did. Moron." FML
Yesterday, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photo of my wedding,hich he didn't bother to come to. Reply: ( What the fuck, are u gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself. ) My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015