Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About britishnuns : Hi, I'm Tara. c: I listen to music almost all day, and Asking Alexandria is my all time favorite band. I also really love Lana Del Ray. I'm really into zombie and gore movies, and I am a Skins fanatic. I had braces for three years. I have the webbed part under my tongue pierced along with my ears. I don't sleep with sheets on my bed because I'll just end up taking them off in my sleep. I love tattoos and as soon as I turn eighteen I'm getting a few. I do online school, as well as two classes at public school. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Message me if you have any questions. cx
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Friday 26 June 2015