Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

britishnuns

Search for a member

britishnuns

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 768
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About britishnuns : Hi, I'm Tara. c: I listen to music almost all day, and Asking Alexandria is my all time favorite band. I also really love Lana Del Ray. I'm really into zombie and gore movies, and I am a Skins fanatic. I had braces for three years. I have the webbed part under my tongue pierced along with my ears. I don't sleep with sheets on my bed because I'll just end up taking them off in my sleep. I love tattoos and as soon as I turn eighteen I'm getting a few. I do online school, as well as two classes at public school. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Message me if you have any questions. cx

britishnuns's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of britishnuns's badges

britishnuns's favorite FMLs

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16072) - you deserved it (23486)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (5702)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43528) - you deserved it (7104)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44156) - you deserved it (5645)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (15948)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (4065) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

#18573641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (3923)

On 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm - animals - by kaipodable - United States (California)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (15702)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (23087)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49348) - you deserved it (4825)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

#18520175
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (5480)

On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48598) - you deserved it (7728)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48220) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

#18474670
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (12020)

On 12/10/2011 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Anonymousss95 - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

#18458873
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: