Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About britishnuns : Hi, I'm Tara. c: I listen to music almost all day, and Asking Alexandria is my all time favorite band. I also really love Lana Del Ray. I'm really into zombie and gore movies, and I am a Skins fanatic. I had braces for three years. I have the webbed part under my tongue pierced along with my ears. I don't sleep with sheets on my bed because I'll just end up taking them off in my sleep. I love tattoos and as soon as I turn eighteen I'm getting a few. I do online school, as well as two classes at public school. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Message me if you have any questions. cx
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Friday 28 November 2014