Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

britishnuns

Search for a member

britishnuns

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 804
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About britishnuns : Hi, I'm Tara. c: I listen to music almost all day, and Asking Alexandria is my all time favorite band. I also really love Lana Del Ray. I'm really into zombie and gore movies, and I am a Skins fanatic. I had braces for three years. I have the webbed part under my tongue pierced along with my ears. I don't sleep with sheets on my bed because I'll just end up taking them off in my sleep. I love tattoos and as soon as I turn eighteen I'm getting a few. I do online school, as well as two classes at public school. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Message me if you have any questions. cx

britishnuns's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of britishnuns's badges

britishnuns's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23897) - you deserved it (2077)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

#20029882
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (4830)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by youre dumped shitforbrain (woman) - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

#20029280
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (1906)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (2586)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56569) - you deserved it (10353)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10739) - you deserved it (36875)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (3348)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (3006)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (9187)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50707) - you deserved it (2329)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: