brit8741

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brit8741

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4408
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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brit8741's page activity

Visits<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:08pm<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:07am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:50pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 11:02pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:12am<b>RobF11</b> - the 08/05/2010 at 4:23am<b>stevenmx86</b> - the 06/20/2010 at 10:39am<b>cath_1211</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 3:13am<b>kitties</b> - the 05/17/2010 at 1:23pm

brit8741's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brit8741's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

by iailwkrb / 02/26/2009 at 11:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

by cynicalcindy / 02/19/2009 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

by mediocreboobs / 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

by Tennisplayer / 02/10/2009 at 12:59am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

by Big B / 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

by rexob / 02/04/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

by bluntedone / 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

by jf29 / 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

by IEatDammit / 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

by blarg / 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

by cockblockingbitch / 01/25/2009 at 12:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

by Shantoya / 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

by Lola / 12/26/2008 at 1:32am / Love