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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (9799)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)
Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39506) - you deserved it (4145)
On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (77672) - you deserved it (3602)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (50612)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35222) - you deserved it (19891)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (37206)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (6418)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (33631)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (35538)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177029) - you deserved it (7208)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6785) - you deserved it (33734)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5273) - you deserved it (29183)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15668) - you deserved it (3834)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7899) - you deserved it (15826)
On 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by blarg - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (54101)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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