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brit8741

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brit8741

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  • Number of visits : 3475
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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brit8741's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46547) - you deserved it (21522)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60958) - you deserved it (6897)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166748) - you deserved it (8480)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96704) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15178) - you deserved it (70672)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75550) - you deserved it (27853)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72826) - you deserved it (27257)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (291154)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60261) - you deserved it (4923)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82148) - you deserved it (6364)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79415) - you deserved it (7768)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235182) - you deserved it (31112)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (11689)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46232) - you deserved it (4895)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91272) - you deserved it (4705)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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