This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52501) - you deserved it (24849)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (2047)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (2741)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16710) - you deserved it (36886)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62669) - you deserved it (9117)
On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50659) - you deserved it (3361)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58165) - you deserved it (2103)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21486) - you deserved it (214063)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44499) - you deserved it (18631)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66029) - you deserved it (3548)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (8034)
On 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by partygirlxxx - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75283) - you deserved it (35506)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36822) - you deserved it (2322)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (38233)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12559) - you deserved it (94884)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
