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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (277)
On 12/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by justine (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (25842)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14096) - you deserved it (3656)
On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50327) - you deserved it (2660)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (4087)
On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (3923)
On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124119) - you deserved it (4826)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8070) - you deserved it (21568)
On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (5808)
On 10/04/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (4045)
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19841) - you deserved it (2401)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my soon to be mother in law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (1922)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by whasian (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17778) - you deserved it (3343)
On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States
Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4335) - you deserved it (37046)
On 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (4239)
On 09/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Friday 24 May 2013
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