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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (21157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (2819)
On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (1993)
On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7049) - you deserved it (15238)
On 03/01/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by whywilson.. (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3743) - you deserved it (47902)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (2633)
On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version
Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (5521)
On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (5429)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14371) - you deserved it (1767)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (1796)
On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (1587)
On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21989) - you deserved it (2052)
On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my daughter thought that my new and expensive cologne smelled funny. She then decided to empty its contents down the toilet and refill the bottle with "nice-smelling things". I now smell like a mixture of chicken soup, my wife's perfume, tomato sauce and orange juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (3499)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:34am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (4454)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was fired from my job as a middle school teacher. Why? I told an 8th grader that Santa Claus wasn't real. He cried and told my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (8624)
On 12/18/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Firedfor..... (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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