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  • Town/Country : Pigeon Forge, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 November 1970 (44 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1479
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About briang959 : Please like my profile...I need the "one more and it's business time" badge.

FML makes me LOL! Life is always better with friends and laughter. I feel like I'm the only person on FML over 18. :) Wanna know more, feel free to ask.

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briang959's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (2331)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18675) - you deserved it (35447)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (3483)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (4720)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (38178)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (2513)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (2044)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister got her retouched wedding photos. Apparently one of the things she had the professional do was edit me out of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/21/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by kana__ (woman) - Japan

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (2216)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (2233)

On 01/13/2015 at 6:06am - misc - by notyourcleaner (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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