Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

briang959

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

briang959

84Fucked!

briang959briang959
  • Town/Country : Pigeon Forge, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 November 1970 (44 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2026
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

About briang959 : FML makes me LOL! Life is always better with friends and laughter. I feel like I'm the only person on FML over 18. :) Wanna know more, feel free to ask.

briang959's page activity

Visits<b>Jamilal16</b> - 14 hours ago<b>feetlvr</b> - 15 hours ago<b>heyheyheyyall</b> - 20 hours ago<b>ththicksarah</b> - 21 hours ago<b>deftones</b> - yesterday at 1:33am<b>_kyleG_</b> - yesterday at 1:04am<b>monster1109</b> - yesterday at 5:32pm<b>haylburg</b> - yesterday at 3:49pm<b>laurelfire</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:28am<b>westcoasttchic</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:34am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:49am<b>RusticChick</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:18pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Quinzee</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:57pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:21pm<b>AllSighs</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:35am<b>Kiara009</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:52pm

Fucked!<b>deftones</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:13pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:14pm<b>lulinator</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:44am<b>randomguy76</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:04am<b>edward80</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:32pm<b>heyheyheyyall</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:32pm<b>Mpineda57</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:09pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:47pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 3:59pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 3:14pm<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:05pm<b>cameosurgeon</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:23pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:01am<b>friendzonefml</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:43pm<b>VanessaVardan</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:53pm

briang959's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of briang959's badges

briang959's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (1510)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (4859)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (4143)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (632) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (2449)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (7525)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (2523)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (3537)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

#21379352
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/22/2015 at 5:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (2984)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (542) - you deserved it (2464)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: