brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13744
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : www.atlastheaussie.tumblr.com
www.facebook.com/atlasaussie

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>ssnow</b> - 13 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Lolipop2241030</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Willman757</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 7:50pm<b>assassin29876</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:12pm<b>waleedma</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 3:24pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 7:41am<b>Dictionaryspeaks</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 3:40am<b>Steve97</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:15am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:17am<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:19pm<b>MM100</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:24am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:08pm<b>ShoaibA</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 12:20pm<b>Littlejess292</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 11:32am<b>g007</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 9:59am<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 9:45am

Fucked!<b>ssnow</b> - 7 hours ago<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:32pm<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:06pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:34pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

by oink oink fuck off / 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

by *facefloor* / 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

by Raaaaage / 07/22/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

by fucking pissants / 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

by jillie minaj / 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

by deadman / 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 9:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous