Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

11Fucked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10290
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>blackRose2015</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:12am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:31am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:53am<b>miaaxoxxo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:28am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:17am<b>trumpetsk</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:22am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Throggdor</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:58am<b>ptellini</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Logan526</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:46pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:26am<b>dcam13</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:01am<b>Higgy90</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:45am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:02am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:30pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (3869)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (2864)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after waiting 3 months, I finally got my wedding dress back from the dry-cleaners. The dry cleaning lasted longer than the marriage. FML

#17583056
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (9441)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:28am - love - by justmyluck - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8923) - you deserved it (24649)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8934) - you deserved it (54283)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (2303)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (2618)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

#17459271
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (4576)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36419) - you deserved it (2668)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58387) - you deserved it (5851)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

#17411928
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27141) - you deserved it (2906)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (10066)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

#17343796
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (4726)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: