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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3633
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (237321)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

#5309317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (5186)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (6560)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML

#5182351
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (5330)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by livin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48758) - you deserved it (2204)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML

#5097927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (64472)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (12246)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, an old lady came to the bank where I worked at to apply for a loan. She obviously didn't qualify for one as she has no income coming in. She looked so pitiful, so I changed a couple of her information so she could. She reported me and I got fired. FML

#4785631
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20001) - you deserved it (52470)

On 08/24/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by NoThanks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14710) - you deserved it (46018)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML

#4663591
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47403) - you deserved it (10096)

On 08/19/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Rainbow92 (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (4477)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53126) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61742) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)



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