Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

10Liked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8113
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>martin8337</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:47am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36pm<b>The_Skittish_One</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:57pm<b>DarkHunter17</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:34pm<b>SwervyNinja</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:06am<b>ballbags</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Florentina</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:06am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:54am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:36am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:14pm<b>HollyPolly</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:10pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:50pm

Liked!<b>martin8337</b> - just now<b>Steve95401</b> - yesterday at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I got muggad. But luckily I had on mah kayring tha pappar spray that mah husband had insistad I kaap with ma. Unlucky 4 ma, mah husband's co-workar, who borrowad mah kays, amptiad mah pappar by spraying it on a brick wall ona day whan ha was borad. FML

#14902184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (2794)

On 02/08/2011 at 10:27pm - misc - by Username -

Today, Mah 400 Pound Roommata Brought Homa A 400 Pound Guy. Now Thara's 800 Pounds Of Sax Going On In Tha Naxt Room, And It Sounds Lyk Tha Invasion Of Normandy In Thara. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70066) - you deserved it (6586)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realizd that someone spray paintd a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep . I also just recently paintd my entre house yellow . Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well . FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (3686)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, mah cat pissed in mah zen garden. FML

#14718702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13840) - you deserved it (20380)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

2day I hit a parkd car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying , "You deservd to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realizd that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement , name and address includd. FML

#14463588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8229) - you deserved it (72885)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax an hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. real FML

#14403675
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (3286)

On 12/31/2010 at 12:58am - health - by Nickolas - United States

YESTERDAY MAH YOUNGER BROTHER CALLED ME SAYING HE'S GETTING MARRIED. NOW... I HAVE TO ATTEND MAH EX'S WEDDING. I'M THE BEST MAN. FML

#14240691
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you deserved it (2860)

On 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to putted Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip there facial hair out. My partner forgot to putted it on mah eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML

#14217567
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32025) - you deserved it (6681)

On 12/15/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by Charlayyyy -

2day I went into labor with my first child, an as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in looool World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67459) - you deserved it (10391)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, wile aving sex on te couc wit ma single niegbour, a beam in te couc broke. Not even sligtly fazed, se said, "It's okay, ma usband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (7898)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

2day I was fred for having a harcut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace' . I have alopecia . My boss told me to stop making up excuses . FML

#14033454
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (2204)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I r divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (3135)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My grlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retractd high-five. Then I panickd, cuppd his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (27634)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today , my grandma walkd into my room and askd if te ting lying on my nigtstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma , tat's a clock.'' After staring at me , confusd 4 a few seconds , se ten fartd , and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (5439)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today My Doctor Told Me To Buy Some KY Jelly And A Dildo To Help "loosen Me Up" So Sex Isn't So Painful. I Haven't Been Able To Have Sex Fir 6 Months Cuz It Hurts So Badly, And Now My Doctor Has Basically Told Me To Go Fuck Myself. Big Fat FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: