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brewmasterg

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brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7276
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41552) - you deserved it (7200)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41168) - you deserved it (3193) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

#18206362
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm - misc - by Noslo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (3639)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

#18055986
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (6417)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm - animals - by kengu (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66698) - you deserved it (4033)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (3092)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (5523)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39162) - you deserved it (7051)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (3592)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (1983)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States



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