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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3687
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (3596)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13678) - you deserved it (20246)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7738) - you deserved it (70589)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

#14403675
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/31/2010 at 12:58am - health - by Nickolas - United States

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

#14240691
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML

#14217567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (6374)

On 12/15/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by Charlayyyy -

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66952) - you deserved it (10323)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (7861)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (2193)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (3111)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11863) - you deserved it (27424)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (5368)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (7573)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

#13932750
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12186) - you deserved it (24486)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (5453)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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