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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4737
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (3023)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20261) - you deserved it (60869)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

#16076552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (11007)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by lawl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML

#16010134
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46505) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/01/2011 at 9:05pm - love - by exnotwelcome19 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (29527)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58480) - you deserved it (4398)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (10330)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (9058)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (4940)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

#15669664
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (6654)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:57pm - work - by PsychoSarah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

#15467016
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34723) - you deserved it (4239)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm - kids - by Angie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (3340)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57370) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42937) - you deserved it (2723)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)



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