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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8136
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7293) - you deserved it (29844)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30501) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (2678)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (5306)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (3522)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (1963)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML

#18987480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (10808)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57232) - you deserved it (4408)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (5166)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

#18954883
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (3804)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML

#18949118
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (3603)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:24am - kids - by myself - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

#18930916
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (3879)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML

#18892248
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (6947)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm - kids - by gloria77 (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

#18886629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by michellenKG (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (2286)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)



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