brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

25Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17963
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : www.atlastheaussie.tumblr.com
www.facebook.com/atlasaussie

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>bruhhhhhhh</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 6:23pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 4:18pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 9:46am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 9:31pm<b>ElectricEffect</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 5:29pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 1:48pm<b>SnapeIsGood</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:18am<b>nevaryzarc</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 9:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 8:22am<b>Rais</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 3:20pm<b>DumbWater</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:43pm<b>lujainkh</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 6:33am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 2:02pm<b>helpful_at1am</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 6:52am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 5:20am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 12:56am<b>ber4fun</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:07pm

Fucked!<b>helpful_at1am</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Varieus</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:49am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 8:39am<b>dno79</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 10:08am<b>rolso</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 8:04am<b>classicate</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 10:21pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:01pm<b>ssnow</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 2:43pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:32pm<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:06pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:34pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm

brewmasterg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 7:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Love

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

by Stairs? Noooooo / 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

by jobless / 09/13/2015 at 10:07am / United States / Work

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

by NotJobbing / 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

by johobus28 / 08/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 11:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

by ow my kidneys / 07/14/2015 at 6:33am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous