Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11817
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 6:35pm<b>menabella</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:15pm<b>CamIsUnlucky</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:11pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:40pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:05am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:17am<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:55pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:53am<b>gdziejestem</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>gissyyyy</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:57pm<b>kemmyy</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:03pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:02pm<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:03pm<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:15am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:50pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:50pm

Fucked!<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:06pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:34pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19547) - you deserved it (57922)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (3189)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (5471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML


Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (3177)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (4379)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (3493)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (4170)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14642) - you deserved it (60046)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (2390)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (37543)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: