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brewestry's favorite FMLs
by ironfey / 03/20/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML
by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love
by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML
by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy