This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (1325)
On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16542) - you deserved it (1444)
On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18356) - you deserved it (1974)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16266) - you deserved it (2205)
On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (1853)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17686) - you deserved it (2690)
On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16451) - you deserved it (1374)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (3198)
On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17338) - you deserved it (2273)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (1266)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:44am - money - by humorizer - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (2591)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36528) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6267) - you deserved it (19538)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6871) - you deserved it (14572)
On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (1574)
On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
