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brendiiii

Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 12:44pm) | Search for a member

brendiiii

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 218
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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brendiiii's page activity

Visits<b>CrimsonAmaryllis</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 5:48am

brendiiii's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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brendiiii's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48927) - you deserved it (9351)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50568) - you deserved it (9754)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66097) - you deserved it (12693)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67865) - you deserved it (17188)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84315) - you deserved it (8723)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48603) - you deserved it (14454)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51693) - you deserved it (4564)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48178) - you deserved it (7212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (14597)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38036) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (3340)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (2166)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (32672)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (7183)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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