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Mobility
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Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (15233)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35245) - you deserved it (8691)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47957) - you deserved it (9876)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48559) - you deserved it (2866)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46451) - you deserved it (5117)
On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (3253)
On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (8122)
On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37083) - you deserved it (7280)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52590) - you deserved it (9106)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86152) - you deserved it (3208)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50071) - you deserved it (10689)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59723) - you deserved it (5744)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (2901)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (10190)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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