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brenda2326

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brenda2326

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brenda2326's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41128) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40803) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7549) - you deserved it (31824)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (6545)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (6522)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (4197)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35360) - you deserved it (5274)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44782) - you deserved it (26715)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML

#3190123
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56174) - you deserved it (3001)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:46pm - love - by dumpedchick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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