About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
by Deaf / 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML
by _whyy_mee / 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by PupZilla / 07/02/2015 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by smokecloud_ / 07/02/2015 at 2:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML
by mirandale / 07/02/2015 at 1:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2015 at 12:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML
by thatshelpful / 07/02/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML
by Alex Andreas / 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by bleachingmykidsbrains / 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML
by WittyMoron / 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous