About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
breekittenmitten's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML
by feelthesting / 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm / Mexico (Aguascalientes) / Transportation
Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
by a_dani365 / 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm / United States (Nebraska) / Holidays
Today, I learned how my coworkers differentiate between my coworker and me as we have the same name, when I overheard one of them ask the other, "Which one, ugly Leslie or hot Leslie?" When the answer was "ugly Leslie," he walked straight to me. FML
by makeover-needed / 07/06/2015 at 5:32pm / United States / Work
by --- / 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
by notacreep / 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by BrittUnicorn / 07/06/2015 at 11:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML
by breadcrumb / 07/06/2015 at 2:03am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by I'm_Not_Interested / 07/06/2015 at 1:30am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by Fgjvshnb / 07/05/2015 at 11:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
by madisonnkelly / 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML
by wellthatsucks / 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm / United States / Love
by izaya / 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML
by getting real crafty.. / 07/05/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 5:29am / United States (Oregon) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and… Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited… Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching…