Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breekittenmitten

Search for a member

breekittenmitten

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1841
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About breekittenmitten : The name is Bree, I live and breathe music.

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:28am<b>fancypotato</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:59pm<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:40pm<b>hyperman622</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:41am<b>tulha</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:57am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:16pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 5:50pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 8:33pm<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 1:25pm<b>stilysm</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 10:27am<b>hplkush</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:51pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 10:58pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:04am<b>playah16</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:22pm<b>colerean</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:46pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:19pm

breekittenmitten's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (43213)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (4357)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (19193)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (40367)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13752) - you deserved it (37257)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (9671)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

#11624836
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46005) - you deserved it (5239)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by nowsingle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (23721)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

#11531081
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (6342)

On 06/29/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Alissa - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (33808)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89573) - you deserved it (5867)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: