About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, while reading my girlfriends kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML
by 12yearsoldapparently / 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML
by feelthesting / 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm / Mexico (Aguascalientes) / Transportation
Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML
by a_dani365 / 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm / United States (Nebraska) / Holidays
Today, I learned how my coworkers differentiate between my coworker and me as we have the same name, when I overheard one of them ask the other, "Which one, ugly Leslie or hot Leslie?" When the answer was "ugly Leslie," he walked straight to me. FML
by makeover-needed / 07/06/2015 at 5:32pm / United States / Work
by --- / 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
by notacreep / 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by BrittUnicorn / 07/06/2015 at 11:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML
by breadcrumb / 07/06/2015 at 2:03am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by I'm_Not_Interested / 07/06/2015 at 1:30am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by Fgjvshnb / 07/05/2015 at 11:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
by madisonnkelly / 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML
by wellthatsucks / 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm / United States / Love
by izaya / 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while driving to work, I was wondering why the highway was so empty. Turned out, today is a… Today, I found out my meth head of an uncle is moving in. I was warned to not keep any money in the… Today, I got sick and started my period. My boyfriend walked in the bathroom just in time to see me…