bree128

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bree128

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3158
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bree128's page activity

Visits<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:59pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:11pm<b>APHPrussia</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 3:40pm<b>drego5</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:57am<b>tehman117</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:22am<b>lil_lex</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:12pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:59pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:05pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:40pm<b>chudun</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:42am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 1:21am<b>cowsaysmooo</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 10:58am<b>thefreelove</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 11:03pm

bree128's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bree128's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

by thisisme / 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

by G-6 / 01/07/2011 at 6:24am / Transportation

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

by BIZZMAL / 01/04/2011 at 9:44pm / United States / Animals

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

by Username / 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

by iamnotuseless / 12/10/2010 at 6:37am / Health

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy